Jun. 4th, 2012

crazyparakiss: ArashiMiwaKiss (Default)
First off, this fic has a bang load of warnings. I suggest you take each and every one of them to heart before you read. This fic is brutal and raw and might lean towards squicky for some.

Love, Like Hate, Knows Many Guises

Every once in a while I come across a Harry I can relate to emotionally and I rediscover why I love him so much--this is one of those fics and it will probably stay with me for a long, long time.

For me this fic was very heartbreaking. Now that I've had time to absorb it and soak up all of the details my heart absolutely breaks for Harry. I can identify with him (not the infantilism) I am a child of abuse: mental and sometimes physical and luckily never sexually. And in that abuse I know what it is like to feel as if no one will ever love you, as if you have no control over your life, and as if the only person you can really trust is yourself. Harry, this Harry, is the embodiment of those feelings and so much more. I wish I was awesomely articulate and could tell you exactly how deeply this Harry has touched me.

The pain he feels when his darkest secrets are exposed and his shame. I know it's not on the same level but it's almost the same as how I used to feel about my writing, my attraction to men fucking, and even with being bi-sexual--shame. Shame is a horrible feeling and it tears down the most intimate parts of us and makes us sick because of who we are. But Harry eventually loves himself, "weird", "depraved", "perverted", "sick fuck" and all. And THAT my friends is the utter brilliance of this fic.

Because to be completely honest infantilism squicks me like WHOA. The few infatilism fics I have read have kinda put me off the genre. Even so, I wanted to read this fic and so I did and I was not disappointed. I did skip the "sex" which from what I've been told/saw on my way to the end isn't really sex so much as fondling, but to me this fic isn't about sex or fondling. It is about learning to love, the hurt of betrayal, learning to accept yourself, and about finding inner peace. And all of those things were amazing and wonderfully portrayed in this fic. So I dare you to read it and enjoy it.
crazyparakiss: ArashiMiwaKiss (Default)
You know, there are times when I think I've read the last of the great fanfiction. And what I mean by "great" is the unique, the amazingly touching and the insanely intense fics that just reach out and grab me and stay with me and I am not predicting them exactly as they are before they end (hell I write like that a lot of the time, predictable, so I don't mean that harshly).

Take What's Left of Me

Spoilers ahoy, because you will not shut me up about this fic.

First off: THIS HARRY! ALL THE AWARDS TO THIS HARRY! He's fucking OMG! From the minute you meet him you can sense all of the love he has for Draco, it is tangible and heavy on the heart. And I wouldn't have it any other way. He is just so in love and it is as raw and as painful as being in love truly is so I applaud the author.

Most of all what he does for Draco, out of love is so very powerful and heartbreaking. I love it. There is this raw ache that I felt when Harry first held his son and I was so very proud of how selfless and courageous he was to give Draco the one thing Draco wants and despite the fact it must have ached to give away his baby HE DID IT because he didn't want to watch Draco suffer. SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS!

I also quite loved Astoria. She's like a true friend to Draco, she knows and loves him and wants to give him happiness. There is such intense respect between them, she and Draco and I think it's a rather beautiful friendship.

Quite a few people expressed a severe dislike of Draco in this fic. I cannot agree with that. Personally I thought he was perfection so very canon and guarded and in love with Harry as much as Harry was with him. He's a prick, sure BUT he's a downright nightmare in the books so that's not far off the mark. As far as him not being as in love as Harry I don't think that's true--there is this heavy cowl of duty and responsibility that we see through all the books "What it is to be a Malfoy" if you'd like and I think that is portrayed in this fic beautifully. It's not so much that Draco is a "coward". I mean DUH he is, but he's not as spineless as people would like to believe. It is very selfless to throw away love to do what you feel you must. There are centuries of tradition and expectation and to run away from that, to me, would make him a coward in his own mind. So in his own mind, this Draco, was being brave.

The ending is hard for me to swallow. I mean it's lovely and wraps up the heartbreak in a nice fluffy package. But to be honest I would have loved to see Draco find out and things not change because that sense of duty--the heavy crown that both of these men carry in this fic would have been even more monumental if there was tangible desire and desperation between them and they both knew it would never come to be. BUT alas it is not my fic and I am kind of envious that I didn't think of this first because OMG WHAT A CONCEPT AND HOW WONDERFUL! I mean it. I really did love this fic. Truly and deeply.

Bravo Mystery Author and if you are who I think you are then I already stalk fangirl your fics like WHOA.

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